Love, Betrayal, and Karma

I had a friend once that fearlessly loved.  She loved a man of a different race, religion, creed. Their differences brought them together. She enjoyed his views on life, he enjoyed her Indian ways. I remember the first time I saw her "in love." Her face had changed, the sun seemed to be inside her eyes. Every ounce of her being was glowing with this love. I had not met this boy that had brought such happiness to my friend, but I wondered if his face glowed too. 

Over the next three years I watched my friend through this love. Their love affair was tumultuous to say the least. Their differences that had once brought them together, now tore them apart, he knew he couldn't marry someone of a different religion. She was willing to sacrifice all she had for one lifetime with him. I did eventually meet this boy, deep into the relationship. I met him after watching my friend drown in love for three years. Her face no longer glowed with love, it was now desperate. She lived in a constant fear that he would leave her. Leave her all by herself. His face did not glow. He could not meet my eyes, during that dinner. His entire energy was ashamed and embarrassed of the betrayal he was sure to commit. 

They say that all great love stories end in tragedy. This one ended in marriage and a broken heart. He eventually chose his family and his religion over his love. He married a girl that his parents had arranged for him. My friend and her broken heart lost hope.

Over the years I watched her spiral out of control into her misery. I tried to help, but I just couldn't. The weight of her grief was too heavy for me to carry. After three years of consoling her, and standing by her side, I had to cut her off.  She was taking me down with her. 

It's been two years since I talked to my friend, and I always wonder what has become of her. Yesterday as I was waiting to cross the street I noticed the man in the car at the stoplight staring at me. Our eyes met, there was recognition... and there he was: married, with his wife, and his newborn child. He had the look of quiet desperation in his eyes.  I realized something that I had never thought of before. Maybe his life was the more tragic. My friend has a chance to find her new love, to move on. He was sitting in that car staring at me remembering her. And I saw it in his eyes. 

Gandhi once said, "A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." My friend was very brave...

Alzheimer's = Age - Time

Every Sunday my family meets up at my parent's house; three generations of Prasad's eating, laughing, and enjoying life. As I watch our family interact, I can't help but notice how similar my aging father acts to my nine month old niece. His condition is Alzheimer's, hers is youth. Anyone that has been around Alzheimer's knows about the degeneration of the inflicted' mind, and childlike behavior that ensues. I go for walks with my father, and I answer the same question 20 times during the 30 minute walk. "Anita when are you getting married?" Soon Dad. I babysit Rekha, and I tell her not to put the remote control in her mouth 20 times. The same amount of patience, attention, and love is required in both settings. 

In my parent's home, I'm constantly reminded of time.  In this world, time is the only constant, everything else is changing. Time continues to move forward into the infinite, there is no stopping or rewinding it. We all age in the same increments, one year at a time. Though I think age has the ability to come full circle. A 65 year old, can behave like a nine month old.  I'm beginning to understand that the only place that time has the ability to fast forward into the future, or rewind into the past is in our heads. I'm watching my Father revert to his village Hindi, a language he hasn't spoken in over 50 years, and I can see that he has gone back in time, to live in a different point in his life. I have heard of cases in Alzheimer's where the patient thinks he/she is 18 again, and decides to behave in that manner. Maybe there such a thing as time travel.

Though scientifically there is no method of physically going back in time, or jumping into the future, I have learned that you can make time stand still. When you are living in the moment, time will stand still...