Lift Off

I am not bound by anything... no one is. Where we may be limited in the physical world, we are absolutely free in our mental world. We do choose, for the most part, how we live. This being said, I have found a new form of freedom: flying. I started flying lessons about two months ago. And I feel there is no freedom like flying. There is a moment right before take off, when I'm sitting on the runway, waiting to go. It's the calm before the storm. My plane sits at one end the runway, the engine is going, but my feet are pressing down on the brakes, so I'm not moving. I push the throttle in the whole way, and I listen to the engine roar. The propeller moves so fast I can no longer see the motion. The plane jolts forward as I release the brakes. The wheels are still touching the ground for half the length of the runway as I gather enough speed to take off. About three quarters of the way down the runway I lift the nose of the plane and I'm airborne. I slowly go from touching the ground to 3000 feet in air.

From 3000 feet in the air, the world is a very different place. The world is much more beautiful. The details that I focus on on the ground, are no longer visible 3000 feet in the air. Large becomes small, and small becomes non-existent. There is a whole new set of details, that were previously unseen. Flying has given me a new perspective on how to look at the world. Sometimes we focus so greatly on very small details, we miss the whole picture. It's much easier to see everything if you step away and look at things from a different point of view...

All the philosophy aside I really enjoy flying. I enjoy the lift off the most. There's an element of magic mixed in with all of the engineering/science. I think I'm in disbelief each and every time I pilot the plane to take off. I usually sit an airplane about once a month, it's definitely not the same. There's something about piloting the plane yourself...

On Butterflies and Significance

In most Indian films you know something life altering is going to happen if there is lightning. There's a lot of lightning and thunderstorms today and if this was an Indian film, something life shattering would definitely be happening right now. Of course life doesn't work that way. We have ups and downs, rights and lefts, usually very few "point of no returns." Most real significant moments in life accumulate over time. They take years to develop and sometimes a moment to realize. We tend to focus on these moments and give them great importance. They are realizations, wake up calls, signs from God, whatever you would like to call them. I don't believe there are switches that change you for good, I think changes accumulate and build up over time. This accumulation tips you to a point of no return... Without the accumulation there would be no tip... so is the tip significant, or is it the slow buildup. Why do we focus on that one moment?

I think we all want to be "better." Better people, better siblings, better spouses, better employees... whatever it may be, just better. There's a myth or a hope that makes us want to believe there will be some random point in time, when we'll be struck, not by lightning, but by a higher power to give us the strength or inspiration to be better. We've all heard the stories of people that had their awakening call one day while doing some seemingly mundane task, and their life is changed thereafter. I think we wait for a moment like this to give us a reason to change, give us hope to be significant. Significance, like most things, is a relative term. We want to change the world, but we feel we can't make an impact from our small house in our small city. The truth is we don't know how far our actions reach. You can just smile at someone at your local coffee shop and change the course of their day, maybe even their life. Smiling at someone doesn't seem very significant to me :)

What do they say about butterflies and hurricanes again?

A Fast Year

I can't believe it's August. I don't even remember when this year started and now it's more than half over. This year has been full of good changes for me and most of the world. I think deep down the conscious of the world we knew we couldn't keep up the way we were going. Our checks and balances system was off. Our economy collapsed. Our environment is changing due to global warming. I'm happy to see the President pushing the world to change. President Obama initiated a program for Americans to switch in there old cars for money to put toward hybrid cars. The program sold out their billion dollar budget in days. The world is ready. We need this change.

Thinking back to the months that have gone by, I think so much has happened that it seems time has been in fast forward. Every morning something new is happening. I recently read that the recession has started showing signs of slowing down. I'm a little surprised to see that. Maybe my life is still hasn't found the balance that economy is finding. I can see the signs of the recession a little more clearly in Tennessee. There is a much larger divide between the wealthy and the poor here. Signs of the recession are everywhere. Empty restaurants, vacant parking lots, stores closing down, foreclosed/auctioned homes.

Aiya, you might find it amusing that in the US the poor are usually quite overweight. The wealthy are usually slim. It seems like an oxymoron, until you see the most of the people below the poverty line eat food from McDonald's, BurgerKing and other fast food restaurants. The commercials on TV advertise fast easy and very cheap meals. Most of these families can't afford better than this. They are left without a choice. These restaurants have disproportionally changed the amount of diabetes and heart disease in the poor communities.

I'm excited to see the world after this new balance has been found. I'm hoping for a better place. I have been reading a great book: The Next Hundred Years. I recommend it. This book has really made me think about the world as we know it, the future that seems so sure, and the impossible being possible.

Blood, Sweat, and Tears

They say money is the root to all evil. I think money is one of the few material things that all people collectively around the world understand. They understand what it can buy, how it can redefine comfort, establish a sense of security and mostly the need for it. We all need a certain amount of money to survive, we all want more than we need.

My father worked really hard for his money. I remember growing up, watching him work. He never missed a day of work, was always willing to travel, and switched jobs any chance he had for a salary increase. He had seven children, and he understood the responsibility that went along with feeding and housing his family. Over the years he invested and bought property and made sure his family was safe with assets. Towards the end of his mental breakdown we noticed his homes had many backed up payments. We've recently been forced to sell his first home he had ever bought. The home is in New Jersey and too far away to upkeep.

In the selling process I was reminded of the book, "The Good Earth." I felt we weren't just selling a property, we were selling a part of my father's life. This house was the first house he bought in the states, four of his children were born in this house. My mother didn't approve of us selling the property, she thought we should keep it for it's sentimental value. We had to sell the house to preserve his other investments. I will never understand the "amount" of work my father did to make it to America.

His village Kamalpur has haunted my dreams since going there this past year. I can't imagine the will power it must have taken to decide to go against his parents and get an education. My father always told us stories of how hard he worked. In Calcutta he worked as a coolie at Howrah station, a tutor to highschool students, any odd job he could find, but he never forgot his final goal to get a college education. His life spiraled in directions that I'm not sure he had planned. As his children we are just trying to make sure both of my parents are well taken care of and not lose his legacy... it's a delicate balance.

On Bright Lights & Fairies

Aiya, I'm currently in Tennessee spending sometime with my sister and her family. I've taken a long generous break for the past couple of months. I had no idea how much time I spent at work, until I stopped working. You spend time getting up to go to work, then the eight to nine hours at work, then going home from work, then more time just thinking about work. I think the average American spends twelve hours a day "at work." And just like that, all that work is done, and the lights go out. All the work that was put into your job is used by others, and you are very quickly forgotten. I'm ready to move on. This break has helped...

Much of my time in Tennessee has been spent with my newborn niece. Children are the brightest of lights. There is such wonder in their eyes, I love to look at familiar things through the eyes of a child. Everything is amazing from that vantage point. The most common place things are mind blowing to my niece. She just learned how to sit on her own, and her current fascinations include ceiling fans, the buttons on my shirt, my hair, and books.

There's a lot more open space in Tennessee compared to California. So much of the land is undeveloped. The area around my sister's home is a forest full of large beautiful trees. The summer out here is closer to India's summers: hot and humid. I don't get a chance to go out much in the day, but in the evenings I try to go for walks through the forest. The whole forest bursts with life in the evenings: birds chirping, crickets singing, the rhythmic humming of the wind through the trees.

This past week as I walked through the forest I noticed little bursts of bright light. They are lightening bugs... little flying insects that light up for brief moments in flight. Pure magic. I'd always read about them growing up, but I had never seen them before last week. My first instinct was to run and catch one, and I attempted many times, each time before I could close my hands around the little fairies, their light would go out, and they would disappear. Escaping from my grasp, and on to a new flight. I'm not sure how many "lights" a lightening bug has, but for their brief moment they are very bright... and they light up the area and the things that surround them.